Things I Learned From Movie Night...

How to get a man:

• Climb through the window of stranger's apartments
• Curl up in bed with them only after determining that you're friends (loosely)
• When this becomes uncomfortable, apologize in a nice note you hand deliver to their mailbox (a felony, but let's forget that little detail) and invite him over for drinks that night
• Claim a major role in his professional life and promote him to your friends
• Bring man with you to visit criminals in prison where you are an informant for the mob
• Sing dreamy songs on the fire escape to seduce him to your whimsical mindset
• Sucker the guy into leaving your (ex?)husband at the train station when he tries to take you away
• Make sure the man gets you drunk before he takes you home
• Have him take you to a burlesque show
• Talk the poor man's ear off in a drunken stupor
• Explain to the man your plan to become the next millionaire through marriage in your drunken state
• Try to pay the man for liquor as you insult him for taking money from other women
• Kiss him after not seeing him for a while
• Stroll down 5th Avenue hand in hand
• Describe your high maintenance nature and requirement for expensive jewelry on your first date
• Admit to never having been to the library (and possibly never reading a book before?)
• Force him to deface public property at the library
• Push him to commit petty theft at a drug store
• Hide out in the library and avoid the man when he leaves the woman who was supporting him financially and admits his love for you
• Go into a violent rage when receiving a bad news telegram
• Announce to him your fake engagement to another man who hasn't proposed yet
• Prove you can't cook and you lack domestic skills
• Get caught up in a major organized crime ring bust
• Try to get him to smuggle you out of the country while you're indicted
• Gloss over every statement of love or passion that man expresses to you
• Passionately kiss a man in the rain while holding your crazy cat (uncomfortable on multiple levels)
• And of course, eat breakfast at Tiffany's together.

Clearly if I were to do all of these things I too could find a man. I'm not sure I would want that man... but I would have a man. So that counts for something.

I'm not going to lie, Breakfast at Tiffany's is just a weird movie. There's no other way of putting it. Holly Golightly is not only naive, but she's crazy and she suckers a perfectly good artist from working the system into taking care of her. I'm sure somebody understands it differently than I do, but I just don't get it. It was a good movie for a Friday night with the girls, but I don't understand it at all. I don't get how so many people love this movie when it makes no sense - no underlying story, no real plot, and not a particularly compelling love story. I just don't get it.